Zen Spam
I used to get furious at all the junk emails that I'd have to sift through every morning. Most of them are for Viagra or antidepressants. Which is stupid, because I figure that if you take only ONE of these products, your other problem will go away... but what do I know.
Anyway, I've started to actually like getting these spam mailings now that I've discovered that they all contain surreal zen poetry. Seriously, scroll down to the bottom of your next junk email and you can read what spammers think is a way around spam filters, but I think is a new and exciting art form.
Check out these words of wisdom from a recent Cialis ad:
"man and the slave will cease to exist, for if the man is not a reference to a boat qua boat, as there are boats which have no each to each, or of parts which do not. The parts of a line bear in the case of those contraries which have an intermediate weapon found near forms of vegetable life."
Genius.
Or how about this from an email whose subject line was "Coattail Quickstep":
"Effect allows dodge of bullets or run up walls.
Jump higher farther otherwise would Opponents tougher good?
Track goals Hacking the hacking expected and provided surprises?
"Stop the wheel" Edipon shouted."
It's pretty good stuff. It's not Haiku... it's a new form of poetry I call Spamku.
I think I'm going to make a concept album based on these emails. The lyrics will be lifted directly from junk mail. The album will be called "Edipon Shouted" and track one will be a banjo number called "The Coattail Quickstep."
Anyone know how to play banjo?
--charles - guards of metropolis
Anyway, I've started to actually like getting these spam mailings now that I've discovered that they all contain surreal zen poetry. Seriously, scroll down to the bottom of your next junk email and you can read what spammers think is a way around spam filters, but I think is a new and exciting art form.
Check out these words of wisdom from a recent Cialis ad:
"man and the slave will cease to exist, for if the man is not a reference to a boat qua boat, as there are boats which have no each to each, or of parts which do not. The parts of a line bear in the case of those contraries which have an intermediate weapon found near forms of vegetable life."
Genius.
Or how about this from an email whose subject line was "Coattail Quickstep":
"Effect allows dodge of bullets or run up walls.
Jump higher farther otherwise would Opponents tougher good?
Track goals Hacking the hacking expected and provided surprises?
"Stop the wheel" Edipon shouted."
It's pretty good stuff. It's not Haiku... it's a new form of poetry I call Spamku.
I think I'm going to make a concept album based on these emails. The lyrics will be lifted directly from junk mail. The album will be called "Edipon Shouted" and track one will be a banjo number called "The Coattail Quickstep."
Anyone know how to play banjo?
--charles - guards of metropolis
posted by Guards Of Metropolis | 1:16 PM
2 Comments:
Huh?
Add a Scottish accent, and this is the sort of stuff to be heard in any town centre throughout the whole of your ancestral land after closing time on Fridays and Saturdays.
Maybe this means that we Scots have all hooked up with Silver's ex?
Charles:
Good idea. Turn something totally wasteful into art. I guess I'm not the only one who hates deleting spam.
By the way, I like your music. Catchy and energetic. I was happy to use my E-music allotment to download your tunes.
Glad to see you are still rockin'. I used to work with you at a music store in the '80s. You probably don't remember but I was the one who liked '60s music. I was the one playing all the garage stuff and driving all over to see my favorite bands.
I also passed your video on to some of our old co-workers. I wish you and your band the best of luck. Hope you guys come to the bay area so I can come see you play.
Best of Luck!
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